It's not real
It's not real
Young people are increasingly gravitating towards content creation as a career. To explore why that's concerning, we'll take a deep dive into an interesting concept: parasocial relationships.
Last month, I came across an interesting psychological phenomenon called parasocial interactions. Coined by Donald Horton and Richard Wohl in 1956, parasocial interactions (or PHI) refers to “a kind of psychological relationship experienced by an audience in their mediated encounters with performers in the mass media.”
Traditionally, this happened through television, where a limited amount of celebrities continually appeared on our screens and produced an illusion of closeness. We know their favourite colour, their childhood memories, but they know nothing of us.
Today, we see this phenomenom exaggerated in social media. Not only do more people have the chance to become celebrities, but there’s also less emotional distance. Research shows that the more times a persona interacts with their audience, the stronger the attachment. Combine that with the online celebrity’s tendency to share intimate pieces of information, social media becomes the perfect breeding ground for parasocial relationships to develop — at a scale that we’ve never seen before.
The positives
I spent a newsletter last year talking about the pros of social media, so I won’t rehash this too much here. But overall, parasocial relationships can, in a way, be a positive thing.
In addition to connection, we can often find role models through online channels, because we can see into lifestyles and career choices that may not be visible in our immediate community. Further, increased diversity on social media, in voices, careers or ethnic backgrounds, now offer an extra perk of representation, as minorities that break stereotypes can inspire new faces to enter new fields.
The negatives
Parasocial relationships also reveal the inherent problem of finding fulfilment in online content creation — the inclination towards imbalance. These relationships, especially strong ones like the ones on social media, feel real. But they do not offer real support. Rather, they’re one-sided. It’s like having hundreds, thousands, millions of people knowing you, bonded to you, depending on you, but not understanding who you really are or what you need.
So for those interested in becoming creators, this presents a conundrum that many fail to consider. How do conduct yourself online? How do you maintain a good relationship with unfathomable amount of people without losing yourself? How difficult can it be to let go?
A way forward?
“Seeking out fame is a glitch in the happiness matrix: an urge that promises contentment and delivers the opposite. To defeat it, we need to be aware of our impulses and committed to countering them.”
— Arthur Brooks from How to Build a Life
Parasocial relationships are probably not going anywhere. That’s just how our mass media and entertainment landscape works. But I think we need to better protect creatives, influencers, and internet humans that choose to take this path.
That may mean more education, especially with young people (apparently, online creator is the desired job for over 90% of young Americans!). Making sure they are aware of the risks before they subscribe to a career where success is rewarded with intense amounts of fame. Helping them learn the importance of setting boundaries. Of setting up a support network of real people they love and can depend on. Supporting and guiding them out when they need to, when it all becomes too much.
It also means that as an audience member, knowing that the person on your screen is a real person. They aren’t your best friend. They don’t owe you anything. They are just someone who said or did something that provided you comfort and companionship when you needed it the most. That’s all. Thank them, appreciate them, for their art, their story and contribution — and move on.
Extra resources
Why do the “it girls” quit? — Nicole Rafiee
The video, or namely comment section, that inspired this newsletter.
To Be Happy, Hide From the Spotlight — How to Build a Life
A great look into why we seek fame, particularly at a young age, and why it makes us miserable instead.
This whole Twitter thread — John Green
A comprehensive Twitter thread about careers in online creation, their short lifespan, and lack of support systems.
Parasocial interaction — Wikipedia
Good ol’ Wikipedia. Some fascinating info on the history and research on this topic.