5 books that helped me get my life together
Some of my favourite self development books that really helped me get through these past couple of years.
I’ve read a lot of self development books over the years, mostly because I really enjoy understanding things about myself and reflecting on my experiences. The following list contains the books that have truly transformed my life for the better, so I wanted to share them with you. Hopefully it’s helpful in guiding you through the sticking points in your own life.
Building better habits
Atomic Habits - James Clear
Writer and thought leader James Clear argues that the key to a better life is to examine your habits, or in other words, things that we do without thinking. These things are usually small, but if you repeat one small things everyday, it can result in big changes later down the line.
So if you look at your habits now, are they getting you to where you want to be? Or are they holding you back?
If your answer is the latter, this book will guide you through actionable steps you can take to curb your bad habits and implement better ones in a way that feels easy, manageable, and sustainable. It also goes through the science of habit formation, and that unlike many people think, habits have nothing to do with “discipline” or “motivation”. Rather, it comes down to hacking your brain and creating a healthy system for change.
Feeling worthy
Daring Greatly - Brené Brown
Brené Brown is a research professor who studies courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy. She has multiple books detailing her findings, talking about people she’s met, and how they have resulted in realizations in her own life.
Daring Greatly is the first book I read from Brené, and it was one of those books I couldn’t put down. WIthin its pages, she explores twelve years worth of research. What originally was a mission to conquer shame became a journey of discovering vulnerability. She learned that vulnerability is not something that is optional, but a necessity to feeling a sense of worthiness. We need to put ourselves in uncomfortable situations where we feel tested, the “arena” she calls it. Without these experiences, we become incapcitated by fear, shame, and those feelings of “I’m not good enough”.
To give you a sense of her wit, wisdom, and storytelling style, Brené has an old but wonderful TEDTalk on her research. I’ve also read the predecessor to this book The Gifts of Imperfection, which is equally as impactful.
Procrastination and resistance
The War of Art - Steven Pressfield
Creativity is difficult. This is where this book comes in. Although its emphasis is on writing and art, I think Steven’s words can have an impact on anyone. We’re all artists with amazing ideas inside of us, but life gets in the way. We procrastinate on that “dream” project. We don’t feel like we’re ready. We get intimidated by what everyone else is doing.
The book is organized as a manifesto, a series of short lessons and musings, making this a super quick read if you just need a kick-in-the-butt to overcome your procrastination and perfectionism. Note that it does get quite spiritual by the third section, where Steven uses Biblical language to explain inspiration, which personally felt a bit strange. Regardless, I enjoyed this book and found it useful in helping me push past creative blocks.
~Anxiety~
Declutter Your Brain - Steve (S.J.) Scott and Barrie Davenport
Our brains are full of clutter. We take on tasks, habits, and priorities that we don’t need. We hold onto useless things that have served us in the past. We’re burdened with societal expectations.
Steve and Barrie argue that this mental clutter is the reason many of us feel anxious and overwhelmed. In this book, they detail stories, tips and techniques that foster mindfulness, aka focusing on the things that are in front of you, all to help you identify what’s truly important, and let go of the things that aren’t.
Essentially, if you’re feeling scattered and want to Marie Kondo aspects of your life, reading this will give you a great starting point.
Mental health and therapy
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone - Lori Gottlieb
I think this was one of the first books I read about mental health. It’s a memoir, where Lori, as a therapist herself, decides to seek professional support. Unlike other mental health books, this book doesn’t feel triggering. It doesn’t pull you into the depths of despair along with the author. Instead, it embraces honesty and addresses stigma around therapy.
I’m also just a sucker for the character development in this book. It’s inspiring to see how Lori grows throughout the story, and how she’s able to take lessons from her therapy and apply it to her own patients. That’s why I’m categorizing this book as a self-help book, because memoirs like these remind us that we’re all human.